zeegoeshere

I'm not really here! I'm totally cleaning and packing my remaining odds and ends, not posting fic. But uh, this sort of invaded my brain and I have to get it out, so! I'm not really here but you get a Travis/Bill ficlet anyway. R-ish, takes place during Summerfest, haha.


*


Travis can't remember the last time he slept naked with someone--like spent the whole night, in an actual bed. It could be because it's been a long time or it could just be because of the haze of touring and substance abuse and sleep deprivation that's been this last spring. Either way, he knows he's never done it with Bill and the whole experience feels brand new and nervous-making.

Travis passed out almost immediately after they curled up post-fucking, but now he's the special kind of wide awake that comes just after you're coming down from drunkenness and your body wants you to know that it's sober and it hates you. He feels too alert and he's hoping that if he just doesn't move, his body will forget to be hungover.

And then there's Bill. Travis is pretty sure that Bill is at least mostly unconscious; the back of his thigh is slightly stuck to Travis's leg and hip, and he's utterly still. They're both sweaty and sticky as fuck, the summer air still too hot even in the middle of the night, and when Travis moves his wrist from where it had settled on Bill's shoulder the air feels cool against the slick sweat on his skin from where he'd been touching Bill.

Travis knows that he shouldn't feel edgy right now, shouldn't be focusing on the festival tomorrow or how much he misses being drunk or how weird it is to be naked and in bed with someone. Bill usually makes him feel completely calm, like there isn't a thing in the world that could fuck up whatever they have going, like none of the small shit really matters, but with Bill so close that Travis isn't sure whether it's his own sweat or Bill's on his wrist, Travis just feels panicked that Bill might wake up and push him away.

Bill makes a sound and shifts, like even asleep he can feel the absence of Travis's hand on his skin, and Travis combs his fingers briefly through Bill's hair to placate him. This is way different than sex with Bill. And now that Travis actually has that thought it seems stupid and completely obvious, but it's--it really is. It's fucking weird but nice but weird and *quiet* and Travis's arm that is sort of pinned beneath Bill's ribcage is starting to go numb.

He wonders if it would wake Bill up if he changed positions.

He hadn't realized until three days before now that playing Summerfest would mean seeing Bill again. It's been since Mexico, and that's just too fucking long, and Travis knows that it would be dumb and whiny and stating the obvious if he came out and said that he seriously misses last year's Warped and living two buses and a trailer away from Bill for three months, but he really does. He thinks Bill does, too, if the way Bill plastered himself to Travis's side the second they saw each other today is any indication.

It sorta feels scary to see how much Bill likes him, and it's sorta ten times scarier because Travis thinks he might like Bill just as much if not more. It was scary last summer and it's scary now and Travis doesn't think he'll ever fall asleep tonight.

He knows he has slept, actually physically slept, with other people in the last few months, but passing out on Sashi's or Matt's shoulder on a plane or a bus or in a van or on the street doesn't really count. It's not like this.

The other guys, for instance, do not make Travis want to curl his entire body around them, trap them with his hands and legs and mouth to keep anyone, everyone else out. Bill lets out a deep breath that's almost a snore in his sleep, and Travis lets his hand settle in the hollow of Bill's hip. The skin there is cool and free of sweat, but Travis can feel it warming underneath his fingers.